This is what I felt like this morning. While I may not have looked like it (i.e. no rollers because I have short hair) the feeling this photo evokes is what I felt like. Connor, 10, got a rainbow loom for Christmas. It is very challenging for him to make the bracelets due to weak fine motor skills and we have only mastered the very simple one. Well last night, he took the 4 he had already made off of his wrist and put them God only knows where. Fast forward to this morning about 10 minutes before school.
C:"Mom, where did Dad put my bracelets?"
M:"I don' t know, let me call him."
R: "I didn't touch any bracelets last night I just moved some pillows"
C: "I worked really hard on those bracelets. I want them back!"
M: "We need to get to school, why don't you think about where you could have taken them off and we will look after school."
C: "I don't want to look after school, I want them NOW!!!"
M: "If you can't remember where you took them off, then they are lost because I have no idea where they could be."
C (by now crying): "If you can't find them, I want my time back then! I worked really hard on those and you don't seem to care."
M: "I do care, I love you, and I know how hard you worked, but we NEED to go to school. I can look when I get home."
C (in car):"Why am I having such a bad day?"
M: "You need to focus on the positive and think about where you left the bracelets"
C (20 minutes into this): "You don't understand how hard I worked and you don't care."
M (completely loosing it): "What the hell do you want me to do about this? These are not mine and not my responsibility. I said I would look when I got home, there is nothing I can do about it now as I am driving down the street. If you continue to cry and yell then you can get the F*#% out of the car and walk because I don't want to listen to it."
C (sobbing in back of car)
Yes, I am a horrible parent and I should have never said those types of words to my child. Why is he able to push my buttons so much that I completely loose it? So while I may have been authentic in how I was feeling, I should have never said those words to my child. I know that his ADHD meds are off and we are working on getting them fixed, but his ability to drive me to the brink is amazing. Anyone else ever had a day like this? How do you keep it from happening again?