Tidal Wave of Emotions

Trying to digest all the things that have been happening around me has not been an easy task.

Heidi - It seems like I am bad luck. When someone asks how she is doing I say how wonderful things are and then "bam" I get a phone call saying that something has gone wrong. Yesterday I was in the re-sale shop buying some clothes for her and the woman who owns it asked about her since I was buying little girl stuff. I told her that she was a preemie and that she was doing well...then not 5 minutes later as I am walking out of the store I get a phone call that she is on the vent.

Connor - his preliminary testing shows no ADHD or ADD. He does seem to get easily frustrated and easily distracted. The psych guy thinks all this can be treated with some behavior modification. However before making his final report he wants to talk to Ryan and I seperately. Not sure what that is about. I know that Ryan and I disagree on some discipline...but Connor just does not respond to yelling, spanking, or really even time outs. Ryan tells me often he is surprised at how much of a push over I am. My nick name my dad had for me when I was little was "Ice Princess" because I had so little emotions. But losing William...I don't know, maybe I am too soft. Lord knows what his mom or dad would say if they knew Connor was having testing. Since they already don't like me I am sure there would be some choice words. He is getting some OT as well as PT because there is another little boy who goes at the same time that they "play" with. His PT seems to think it might do him some good and I can only hope it does.

Other babies - My friend Elaine had her baby and everything seems to be going good. She contracted 5th's disease while at the end of her first trimester and the baby developed anemia. He had to have an in utro blood transfusion. So far things are looking really good. My sister's friends Dave and Heather however have not had such a good time with their baby. Ella Grace has polysystic kidney disease, which is a recessive genetic. She has very little kidney function and both are quite enlarged. This is dangerous because she has no fluid with which to develop lung tissue and practice breathing. Unfortunately there is no way to tell on ultrasound how much lung tissue she does have and if she will be able to breathe when she is born (if she does not die in-utero).

Fargo Friends - He was laid off from MS, but just accepted a job today with another division of MS. Thank God...she is due Oct 13th.

Sister - has lost her job due to budget cuts. Calls me and wants to know about refinancing her house. I know next to nothing other than it is really hard right now. Her husband is also back in school and has had to drop to part time. I am not sure if they would qualify. Their house is no where near worth what they paid for it. Tried to tell her that then, worse trying to tell her that now.

Wyatt - is in the hitting, throwing, and biting phase...need I say more

DH - where to start....I my opinion he has been very selfish lately. He lifted very few fingers when we were in CO to help with the kids and when we got home. He is already planning another ski weekend without any kids ($$ from where, who knows). He was pissed when I asked him to clean up under the deck because we have kids coming over in two weeks and we wanted to play outside. Oh yes, how can I forget that my DH was talking/listening to my brother about how undisciplined Connor is...so now I am the bad guy in this one too.

I feel so over worked, depleted, and tired that I have no energy for anything. Thanks for listening.